I was tempted early on to give up. The work was too hard!! I know God intervened several times and challenged us with surrender, submission and selflessness. Now that we are on the other side of the hardest work we see how beneficial it was. The benefits outweigh the challenges. It's SMART
to use every mentor, resource, suggestion available. Marriage is for thriving not just surviving!!
to use every mentor, resource, suggestion available. Marriage is for thriving not just surviving!!
Expectation is a "four" letter word! You don't realize it when you get married but you bring innumerable expectations to the relationship that just keep popping up!! Even after 29 years I STILL expect Fred to read my mind, respond when I talk to him and recognize my needs without being told :-). So, if you're in your early years of marriage and think that your spouse is going to finally live up to your expectations, YOUR expectations are unrealistic. In fact, the stark reality is that you probably are not in agreement about your expectations. I don't think Fred had any idea that before marriage I wasn't also dreaming about every night together!!
Differences and more differences! Early on you're trying to find middle ground on menus, free time activities, chore assignments, parenting techniques etc. Later on you realize that issues that weren't worth the effort earlier are now surfacing. For example, homemade lasagna was in our menu rotation for years. I was shocked when Fred told me that he really didn't like it. "Are you kidding me?" "Why have I been making it?" His eating preferences have been a big adjustment in our marriage. Which leads me to my next point.....
Victims of our upbringing.... There is just no way around this!! Just this morning Fred and I were talking about chore assignments. His dad, brother and he took care of everything outside. His mom reluctantly handled the garden but he doesn't even know if his sisters ever mowed the lawn. Consequently, I may have mowed our lawn once (!) in 29 years. However, he was not interested in flowers or gardening. Grass, yes! Other stuff, no! Move inside ---- he basically had to retire before starting to load the dishwasher or turn on a vaccum :-).
And, then, how about the Love Language issue? Fred is happiest if I'm nearby and offering a touch or antic of affection. I'm happiest across the room just hearing his voice now and then. We will go into these deeper in another post.
For biblical insight, see my favorite devotional author, March 3, 2014.
http://reflectingtheimage.blogspot.com/2014/03/raising-bar-on-marriage.html?m=1.
Mark 10:2-9
No comments:
Post a Comment